Don't Think
by Greys-Shepherdess
Summary: Just feel. Amelia/AZ fluff
1. Chapter 1

Amelia slammed the door shut, releasing a frustrated groan as she stormed into the dark on-call room. She couldn't remember ever feeling so tired, both physically and mentally, and she felt like screaming at the top of her lungs.

She had lost a patient today, one that she was certain she could save. And now she was tired, and hungry, and angry at the universe. She felt like she was about to explode. She paced around the tiny room, ripping off her lab coat and kicking off her shoes, muttering furiously to herself.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a quiet voice pipe up.

"Amelia..."

Her breathing became heavier with pent up frustration as she turned around, surprised to find a very worried Arizona Robbins sitting on one of the beds, her back propped up against the wall.

"Amelia," she said again, softly, cautiously, taking notice of the brunette's obvious distress. "Hey, hey... Breathe, okay? Breathe."

The neurosurgeon did as she was told, inhaling deeply before letting out a shaky breath. She met Arizona's concerned eyes and tried to calm herself.

"I'm sorry, I didn't see you there," she apologized timidly.

The blonde shook her head. "It's okay," she assured the other woman. She narrowed her eyes, noticing the other woman's flushed cheeks and clenched fists. "Wanna tell me what happened?"

Amelia was silent for a moment, as if pondering the question. She nodded, stepping closer to the other woman. Arizona patted the spot on the bed next to her, and the brunette sat down, taking another breath before speaking.

"I lost a patient. I know it's a stupid thing to get upset about... I know I should be used to it by now. I _am_ used to it. It's just... I don't know. I thought I could save this one. I was sure of it. She was a kid, she'd just turned eighteen. She had her whole life ahead of her." She paused, gazing into her lap. "It's not like I've never lost a patient before. I've lost more patients than I can count. I've probably lost as many as I've saved. It's just that... sometimes I forget. I block it all out... the fact that these are actual human lives, that these are real people with friends and families, and hopes and dreams, people who should have more life to live. I forget all of it. I forget to feel."

The blonde took one of the other woman's hands in her own, giving it a light squeeze. Amelia turned her head to meet her eyes, and she leaned into her. She let Arizona comfort her, she allowed herself to feel the other woman's warmth. It felt good to be held. It felt good to feel safe, to feel protected. She felt like she wasn't alone. She closed her eyes, sighing as she rested her head on Arizona's shoulder.

"I know the feeling," the blonde replied, her voice gentle and honest. "I get it, too. We're surgeons. We've been trained to block it out. We learned to see patients as bodies, not as people. We learned to set our emotions aside. So when we do let ourselves feel, when we take down the wall we've been taught to build around ourselves... it hits us hard. It's shocking. It's infuriating. It sucks.

"So, I get it. It's not stupid, Amelia. It's normal. It's human. Don't ever think that your feelings are invalid just because you're supposed to be 'used to it.' Don't think too hard about it. And when you feel like breaking, when it becomes too much for you, come find me. I'll be here whenever you want to fall apart. So right now, let yourself feel it, okay? Don't think. Just feel."

Amelia nodded and smiled sadly, acknowledging the truth in the other woman's words.

"How do you do that?" she asked, her voice a cracked whisper.

"What?"

Amelia let her head fall into the crook of Arizona's neck, inching closer to the other woman.

"You always know exactly what to say."

The blonde smiled.

"I try," she said, tightening her hold on the other woman, and Amelia lifted her head, turning to face her.

"Thank you," she whispered, sincerely, and she didn't try to fight the tears that began to spill from her eyes.

The blonde leaned down to place a gentle kiss on the neurosurgeon's cheek, her lips pressing softly against the other woman's skin.

"Anytime."

They sat in silence for a while, enjoying each others' company, Amelia's head tucked into the place where Arizona's neck met her shoulder, her body curled into the blonde's. Arizona rubbed a soothing hand up and down her arm, her head resting on top of the brunette's. She noticed the other woman's quietness, acknowledging how her breathing had become slow and steady.

"Are you on-call tonight?" she whispered into Amelia's hair. She felt the other woman shake her head against her shoulder. "Then come on. Let's go home."

The blonde slid off of the bed, taking Amelia's hand to pull her up with her. The neurosurgeon smiled shyly, gratefully, her eyelids drooping and eyes bloodshot.

"Okay."

The pair entered Meredith's house, Arizona leading them down the hall and into Amelia's bedroom. The brunette flopped onto her bed, already half asleep, as the other woman pulled a T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants out of the dresser, placing the clothes on the mattress.

"Here, change into these. I'll be right back, okay?" the blonde told her before disappearing out the door.

Arizona returned several minutes later, clad in pajamas and carrying a glass of water, her heart warming when she found the brunette curled under the sheets, her hair sprawled across the pillow. She placed the cup on the bedside table and sat down on the edge of the mattress.

"Drink this. And get some sleep. You've had a long day," she said, her hand resting on Amelia's leg. "Let me know if you need anything, okay? Anything."

She stood up to leave the room, but stopped when she felt a small hand grasp her own. She turned around, and her heart ached at the sight that met her eyes. She had never seen Amelia appear so fragile, so small, so helpless in comparison to her usual strong, confident disposition.

"Stay." The brunette's request was quiet, her voice raspy and strained. "Please."

Arizona nodded.

"Of course."

She removed her prosthetic and climbed into the bed, unsure of what she was supposed to do. She remained close to the edge of the mattress, reaching out to turn off the lamp on the bedside table before resting her head on the pillow.

A small smile etched its way onto her face when she felt the other woman inch closer, gently tugging on her arm. Arizona responded instantly, wrapping her arms around Amelia's body and allowing the brunette to nestle her face in the crook of her neck, their legs tangling together. She ran her fingers through soft chocolate locks, letting her fingernails lightly graze the other woman's scalp. Amelia sighed at the feeling, her eyes drifting shut as she mumbled softly.

"Arizona?"

"Hm?" the blonde mumbled.

"Thank you."

Arizona smiled, resting her head against Amelia's, her fingers still tangled in her hair. Her heart fluttered in her chest when she felt the brunette tilt her chin upwards and press a soft kiss against her cheek, her lips lingering on her skin. She pulled away slightly, her nose grazing Arizona's cheek, and the blonde could feel her warm breath against her face.

"Go to sleep," Arizona responded, her hand gently rubbing the brunette's back.

Amelia couldn't help but relish in the other woman's warmth, snuggling in even closer to her as she let herself slowly drift into unconsciousness. It felt good to be this close. It felt good to have Arizona wrapped around her, her body molded into her own. So she didn't think about it. She just let herself feel it, she let herself enjoy it. Moments later, she opened her eyes.

"Arizona?" she whispered again.

"Yeah?"

The brunette adjusted her position to that she could face the other woman directly. Her breath hitched as she gazed into the blonde's blue eyes, mesmerized by how they glinted brightly, even in the darkness of the room. She leaned forward slowly, her nose brushing against the other woman's as she spoke.

"Just..." she breathed out, her voice barely a whisper. "Don't think."

With that, she gently pressed their lips together, shyly at first, allowing the other woman to respond. Arizona cupped her face, deepening the kiss, and it soon became slow and passionate and somewhat desperate. She lightly brushed her tongue against the brunette's bottom lip, seeking entrance. They pulled apart when they needed air, their foreheads resting together as the blonde let a dreamy sigh.

"Okay. Now I can go to sleep," Amelia said, snuggling back into the other woman.

Arizona smiled, slightly stunned at what had just happened. She decided not to overthink it. Instead, she wrapped her arms around the other woman's body again, holding her close.

 _Don't think._ _Just feel._


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing the felt was her breath, warm and gentle as it lightly tickled her neck. She felt goosebumps form on her skin as she turned her head, exposing herself to the unpleasant coldness of the room. Her eyelids fluttered open, and suddenly she was hit with the smell of cinnamon, and coconut shampoo, and something else she couldn't quite place; the intoxicating scent that could only be described as _Amelia_.

Memories from the night before came flooding back as she took in her surroundings. The brunette lay sprawled on her stomach, her face stained with faint remnants of mascara and her hair perfectly tousled. Her arm was draped lazily over Arizona's stomach, her head turned to the side. The blonde smiled at the sight.

She felt Amelia stir, and suddenly she felt nervous. She wondered if the other woman would regret kissing her, if she would choose to pretend that none of it had ever happened. She studied her face, her long eyelashes, the blush of her cheeks, the smoothness of her skin and the softness of her lips... _her lips_. She sighed, remembering the feel of those lips against her own. She held her breath as the other woman stirred again.

Amelia groaned softly, her eyes remaining closed, and Arizona froze as the brunette inched closer. She felt the other woman's arm tighten around her waist, her breath hot against her skin as she snuggled into her.

The neurosurgeon opened her eyes for a short moment, as if to reassure herself of where she was and who she was with. She shivered as the cold air hit her skin, grimacing at the feeling before letting her eyelids drift shut again. She moaned sleepily and pulled herself closer to the blonde, nestling her face in the crook of her neck. Arizona felt her smile against her skin.

"You're warm," the brunette murmured. Her voice was cracked and laced with sleep. She felt Arizona wrap her arms around her, the heat of her body engulfing her as the blonde hummed in response. Amelia sighed, turning her head slightly to meet the other woman's eyes.

"I kissed you."

It was a statement, a fact, and she said it simply. Her voice was quiet. The blonde inhaled sharply, as if afraid of what would happen next.

"You did," she confirmed timidly.

She knew the other woman could sense how nervous she was. She felt Amelia move even closer, their bodies now molded together, and her chest tightened at the intimacy of the position. The brunette studied her eyes, slowly lifting her hand to other woman's face. She delicately traced a finger over Arizona's lips, as if reminding herself, reliving the events of the night before.

"I liked it."

Arizona's breath hitched at the other woman's words, and she leaned forward, brushing her nose against the brunette's. She was surprised by her own forwardness, by how comfortable and carefree she felt, despite her uncertainty about how Amelia would feel about her actions.

 _Don't think. Just feel._

"Me too," she whispered. She pressed her lips against Amelia's, and she felt the brunette smile into the kiss. Amelia cupped the other woman's face, her thumb brushing across her cheekbone, gently, delicately.

She pulled away, breathless, and sat up suddenly, a grin plastered on her face.

"What?" Arizona asked, her smile equally as big.

Amelia shrugged. "I don't know. I just... I'm happy. Right now, I feel happy. And I want it to stay that way."

The blonde's smile grew wider. She giggled when the other woman lunged forward, capturing her lips in another kiss.

"Come on," Amelia said.

"Where are we going?"

"Breakfast," the brunette explained, slipping out of the bed and pulling her hair back into a ponytail. "I'm starving."

* * *

"You're hot."

Arizona laughed, lifting her head to face the other woman. The two sat on Amelia's bed, their backs leaned against the headboard, several blankets draped over their legs.

"What?"

The neurosurgeon sipped her coffee, smiling as she admired the blonde's features.

"You're hot. I've always thought so," she shrugged. "I just wanted to tell you that."

Arizona smiled. "You're not too bad yourself, Dr. Shepherd."

Amelia placed her mug on the bedside table and scooted closer to the blonde, resting her head on her shoulder.

"Why is it so freaking cold in here?"

Arizona reached out to place her cup of coffee on the other bedside table. She pulled the other woman into her lap, wrapping her arms tightly around her waist.

"I'll keep you warm," she murmured.

Amelia curled into the other woman's warmth, enjoying the contact. The lifted her chin to place a feather light kiss on Arizona's cheek before nestling her face into her neck.

It was strange, being so intimate with the other woman. She wasn't sure where the two of them stood. And that scared her. Just yesterday, they were nothing more than just friends. Close friends, yes, but still just friends. But now, wrapped in Arizona's embrace, she felt safe. She felt protected. She felt happy. She marveled at how natural it felt to be in her arms, how good it felt to kiss her, to be this close to her.

 _Don't think_ , she reminded herself.

So she didn't. They didn't.

 _Just feel._


End file.
